On the Fringe Again

This past week was the season premiere of my new favorite show I love to hate but watch anyways, Fringe. Fringe is a FOX drama series "about an FBI agent who finds herself drawn into an investigation that blurs the line between science fiction and reality." Its basically an updated version of x-files, which is probably why I secretly love it. Its a reminder of my younger, less social days.

Whenever I watch shows like Fringe, I like to play the mental game, "What would I do in said situation(s)?" If I were an FBI agent who had to investigate all kinds of strange and unexplainable murders, how would I handle it?

Now, let's assume for the sake of argument that the uncontrollable crying would have to stop at some point, probably around the 3rd or 4th episode and I'd have to come out of hiding and actually start working to solve these bizarre cases...

Here is why the world would still come to an end if it were up to me to save it:

#1 - I'm smart but not that smart: If I learned anything from my last game of Trivia, its that I don't know much outside of what I've learned in school, "on the streets" of Redondo, Hermosa or Manahattan Beach, or from watching Sailor Moon, Degrassi, Smallville, or House. I can solve an advanced calculus math problem. I know what anaphylactic shock is, though I wouldn't know what to do if someone next to me went into anaphylactic shock. I can put air in my car tires. I can solve business school cases, kind of. I can tell you the chemical make-up of air and water. All valuable in their own right... However not going to help me figure out the motives of a crazed supernatural killer.

#2 - I couldn't find my mom in a department store as a kid and I'm willing to bet that without the aid of cell phones, I'd still have trouble today. Finding a shape-shifter, mind controller, or -- who are we kidding -- any ol' averge person for that matter hiding out "somewhere" in the North East, not gonna happen.

#3 - I can't stand the sight of blood... let alone exposed organs and bones, and dismembered bodies. Upon seeing a dead man's decaying body lying in the middle of his living room floor, I'd call it a day, hand that case right off to someone else and apply for a desk position.

#4 - I have bad knees. The folks on Fringe do alot of running, kicking in of doors, jumping off of high places. My knees couldn't take that kind of abuse. The driving I could do. The stealth walking along dark narrow hallways, fine... but if my target starts to run, I'd find myself in something of a predicament.

And finally #5 - Despite the assumtion made earlier, realistically speaking, the uncontrollable crying would probably never stop.



And so, if the world was going to end unless I uncurled myself from the fetal position and got out there and saved it, I'm afraid we'd all be in ALOT of trouble. So let's hope that day never comes.