So I was sitting in my coworker's office. After we finish our work talk he says, "Look at my latest masterpiece"
I look up at his wall at the newest painting on his wall. "Aww, which one of your kids drew that?"
"[Insert childs name here]"
"So cute! Little turtles swimming." I said.
"Those aren't turtles. Those are people." He laughed at my ignorance. "Turtles don't wear clothes."
I looked at him... Turtles don't wear clothes? Really?? "Well people aren't GREEN!" I wanted to yell back... but I didn't. Cause that would be mean.
I looked back quizzically at the painting of green "people" turned every which way on a light blue background, but decided to let it go.
I can only hope that when I have kids they'll be able to tell the difference between reptiles and mammals. And if not, I hope I am not so blinded by my love for them that I advertise their ignorance on my office walls. Those paintings will not make it out of the house and will instead be displayed prominently on the refrigerator door.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Things We Didn't Have When I Was Young
Bad pictures. We really knew how to make a photograph count back in the 80s and early 90s before the digital era, back when on the count of 3... 1, 2, 3 actually stood for something. I didn't have nearly as many awful photos when we used film as I do now with digital.
Coordination issues. If I wasn't sitting outside in front of the school at 4:30... or 4:50 or whenever my parents remembered to pick me up after track practice, I was walking home. I think a cell phone gives everyone a license to not coordinate. A simple, "running late" text completely removes all obligation to be on time.
Global Positioning Systems. How I made it from point A to point B before GPS is beyond me. But I did. Somehow we all managed to find our way. Now? I could barely tell you North from South. Handing me a map and asking me to find my destination would be akin to handing me a abacus and asking me to do math. Not gonna happen.
Crazy Gaming Technology. I thought the Commodore 64/Atari was about as high tech as it was going to get. There was NO WAY they were going to come up with anything more advanced than Frogger and Race Drivin'. A joy stick and an orange button is all you needed. Oh how wrong I was to be. So very wrong.
Lack of Imagination. I used to make up stories with my dolls when I was little. I gave them names and personalities. Made them sing. Sure I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom using cardboard for dividers and random artifacts from my parents house to make "neighborhoods", but darnit, I was being creative. This wasn't an empty tissue box! This was a corvette for Barbie... a Kleenex corvette. Thank you Sims for making me feel like the 8 year old me had Schizophrenia.
High Def. Do I love watching movies in High Def? Absolutely. Do I think I missed out not having high def as a kid? Nope. Poltergeist in all its 480i analog glory still managed to achieve the desired effect. Any more def in that movie and I would still be sleeping with my parents.
Unearned Fame. People being famous for being famous? What? Back when I was young you had to have some kind of craft, be it music, acting, or sports. I never thought I'd see the day when I could turn on the TV and watch 30 minutes of someone going about their day to day life... grocery shopping, deciding what to wear, going to get lasered or waxed... When did we make that leap as a society? From that being considered stalking and illegal to trendy and acceptable?
And finally....
Facebook. I can't believe I missed out on the opportunity to showcase all of the photos from my awkward years. That's too bad. I'd have loved to have a digital footprint of me at the lowest point of my social and intellectual development.
Coordination issues. If I wasn't sitting outside in front of the school at 4:30... or 4:50 or whenever my parents remembered to pick me up after track practice, I was walking home. I think a cell phone gives everyone a license to not coordinate. A simple, "running late" text completely removes all obligation to be on time.
Global Positioning Systems. How I made it from point A to point B before GPS is beyond me. But I did. Somehow we all managed to find our way. Now? I could barely tell you North from South. Handing me a map and asking me to find my destination would be akin to handing me a abacus and asking me to do math. Not gonna happen.
Crazy Gaming Technology. I thought the Commodore 64/Atari was about as high tech as it was going to get. There was NO WAY they were going to come up with anything more advanced than Frogger and Race Drivin'. A joy stick and an orange button is all you needed. Oh how wrong I was to be. So very wrong.
Lack of Imagination. I used to make up stories with my dolls when I was little. I gave them names and personalities. Made them sing. Sure I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom using cardboard for dividers and random artifacts from my parents house to make "neighborhoods", but darnit, I was being creative. This wasn't an empty tissue box! This was a corvette for Barbie... a Kleenex corvette. Thank you Sims for making me feel like the 8 year old me had Schizophrenia.
High Def. Do I love watching movies in High Def? Absolutely. Do I think I missed out not having high def as a kid? Nope. Poltergeist in all its 480i analog glory still managed to achieve the desired effect. Any more def in that movie and I would still be sleeping with my parents.
Unearned Fame. People being famous for being famous? What? Back when I was young you had to have some kind of craft, be it music, acting, or sports. I never thought I'd see the day when I could turn on the TV and watch 30 minutes of someone going about their day to day life... grocery shopping, deciding what to wear, going to get lasered or waxed... When did we make that leap as a society? From that being considered stalking and illegal to trendy and acceptable?
And finally....
Facebook. I can't believe I missed out on the opportunity to showcase all of the photos from my awkward years. That's too bad. I'd have loved to have a digital footprint of me at the lowest point of my social and intellectual development.
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